A Note From Mia (Please Read)

[`elizabeth rose ;;]

I want to let a few things out. I've kept myself all locked up for almost thirteen whole years, and now, I think it's about time I let out the sad side, all of my worries, my fears, and everything I've ever hated or felt. You're probably thinking, Mia's one of those people who are always annoyingly happy. Maybe, but that just shows what you know. I'll listen to any kind of music which is on around me, but probably most of all, I listen to Evanescence. You might have been there on the WCGA C-Box when I said I had an obsession with them. I lied. I don't have an obsession with Evanescence, I just listen to their music a lot because it's the only way I can set myself free. I listen to their words, and it's as if they're reading my mind, from however many miles away they are from me. I bet you're all probably thinking; wow, what an idiot. Again, maybe so, but I can tell you right now that I'm not a goth, nor am I an emo. I said at the beginning of all this, I'm just letting out my sad side. I've had my moments when I've lied, and then regretted it. I've had my moments when I say something horrible to someone and then felt so nasty because that person is probably the person who has stood by me for years. I always end up hurting those I'm supposed to love the most. I try. I really, really do try not to hurt those people but somehow... Somehow, it always happens. And I know, that some of you will be thinking; ugh, God, another attention seeker who wants pity to make themselves feel better. Well no, not at all. This is mostly like a letter to myself, and those who I really love so they can understand me more, and if I ever fall out with them again (which, knowing me, I will), they can always look back at this, and know why I do hurt their feelings every second they're by me. I have a few things to say to some people;;

Darkee -- We've had our ups and downs, I know. You've done things to hurt me, and I know I've done things to hurt you, but you never show it. You've got a really strong heart, and, well, you don't know how much I can respect you for that. You're kind of like one of those people I look up to most of the time, I suppose. No matter what happens between us, I will always be your friend, and if you ever need someone, I'm here for you. Also, you don't know how much I hope you're not thinking;; ugh, what a loser. Because I'm actually being very serious about this.

Sand -- We haven't known each other that long but WOW. I love you so much! (As a friend, of course). You're always so nice and cool about things, you're so easy to love, and it's hard for anyone to say they don't like you, because, well... It's impossible not to like you. I think that whenever I'm upset about something, I always hope you're there on the cbox, because you really make me smile. It's like electric 'happy waves' coming off you. You kinda make everyone in the same room/cbox happy. It's really hard to explain, you don't understand.

But probably, the most important person I have to talk to is...

Fog -- I've been seriously mean to you today, and I said some terrible things. I lied. When I said that I wasn't sorry, I really was, and when I left, I wanted to come back, but I just didn't want to look like a complete idiot. I'm sorry for what I said about hockey, and that player I called gay, but I can truthfully say I didn't mean a word of it. And when I said I didn't know why we were friends, I lied then. I know why we're friends. We've had some awesome times together, and you always make me laugh. You're kind to all people, and you're an awesome person to post with. You're always so bright and creative, and you're completely different to everyone else I know. It's what makes you so special. The point is: I'm really, really, really sorry for everything I said to you today, and I hope we can both put this behind us, and never speak of it again. Please?

It's just that when I'm really pissed off at someone, I strangely become pissed off at the whole world. I guess I'm just at that age, y'know?

And of course, there is loads of people who aren't on this site who I would love to say things to, but I'm going to keep this here, on passing notes. I want you all to know, whatever I say, I'm really sorry, I don't mean to be mean, but I guess it's what's inside of me. I love you all and... Well, thanks for being here for me all the time. I really appreciate it.

-- A note from Mia. x

[&&.matthew daskon.]

Mia, I can completely understand where you're coming from in this. Sometimes if somebody says something, you take it the wrong way, and everything just implodes, and it feels like nobody cares, that you're nothing to the world.
But remember, and always remember: Somebody always cares, no matter what it seems like.
Also remember to acknowledge all of your friends... see, about two years ago, somebody in real life said some very nasty stuff about me, and nobody would hang out with me, go around with me. Everybody hated me; or so I thought everyone. One girl approached me, and I'd always looked over her, ignored her basically. And she still wanted to be friends... so yeah, make sure you talk to everyone as much as you can, honey.
About me being happy all the time; well - you'd be surprised, really, you would. But I hate bringing other people down, so I stay happy, no matter how bad I feel on the outside....

If this post made no sense, disregard it. My feelings always get written down all funny. >.<

~Sand

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